Why is self-esteem low in more and more children these days and persists in youth and adulthood, resulting in depression, suicide, emotional and mental health issues?
The secret to building self esteem in children?
To implement secrets to building self esteem in children we need to firstly understand self esteem, and get to know some symptoms of low self esteem, so we can nourish and guide youngsters to feel better about themselves, and enjoy a fulfilling future.
What is Self Esteem?
Basically self esteem is a sense of self worth, security and belonging in the world we live in. In times of challenges, global crises, or trauma every human experiences concern and some type of suffering, yet the inner self can still shines bright. It is this sense of self esteem (the word itself is not as important as the attribute) that motivates a person to rise above the situation and prevail.
The term self esteem has been bandied around in many fields... psychology, psychiatry, career training, and more.
Self esteem is rooted deeply in a sub-conscious realization of who we really are, beyond the names, genders, races, nationalities, status, titles, or even species.
What are the symptoms of low self-esteem?
Here are some examples:
- Children or youth exhibiting insecurity when socializing,
- Students who are for longer than necessary, devastated by poor scores on tests, exams or classroom performances.
- Youngsters commit acts of self-destruction (self cutting, self harm), attempted or successful suicide,
- They display repetitive aggression or violent behavior, bullying, engage in killing sprees or join deviant peer groups.
If the emotional or mental health issues are not addressed at an early stage, as adults they may experience feelings of hatred, bouts of violence, homicidal thoughts, and possibly engage in substance addictions.
Sexual aggression, human trafficking and self destructive actions, have been linked to emotional and mental insecurities, weakened self identity, self worth or dis-empowerment.
Where does self-esteem, self-worth all start?
- Within the family? Within the peer groups? Within the educational systems?
- And why use the term "building" self esteem?
Let's discuss the latter question first...
Over time, the field of mental health professionals have been more frequently using the phrase "building self esteem."
We can use the terms, "supporting," "developing," "inspiring," if you prefer...as we delve more into self esteem. The term itself doesn't matter as much as how to restore a child's self esteem until he/she can self sustain.
You, as a parent, grandparent or caregiver are a key factor in the process.
Parents Nurture Self Esteem and Self Worth
A child's sense of security and belonging in the early years depends 100%, on the mindset and emotional and mental well being of the mother and father to-be.
It's especially related to the child's mother, with whom the growing baby bonds with for the first nine months of its life.
Parents or caregivers are crucial elements for the self-esteem in children, the future adults of society.
To address this issue of the secret to "building" self-esteem children, we must begin with the self worth of mothers. Does the mother herself enjoy a sense of self worth, belonging and inclusiveness in the world?
Now that we've ascertained that secret to self esteem in children is within the most incredible sources of energy on our planet. Mothers.
Ready to explore the Secret? Read on. Or Click on the Radio Show to hear the audio of the entire article. Or continue reading below.
Women are the Keys to Inspiring Self Worth, Self Esteem in Children
In 2014, after decades of research, a workbook was quietly released to address a very important topic: women's empowered roles in rescuing humanity and ensuring a better world for future generations.
As the world is faced with global crises that threaten humanity with pandemics, SARS, MERS, COVID-19, and climate change, human's role in being part of the solution, becomes even more crucial.
In times of challenges, a sense of self worth or self esteem is key to staying strong, saving lives, focused on rising above the odds, and helping shape a better future.
Low Self Esteem The Impostor Mind
What is the Impostor® Mind
We have heard this line of defense many a times: "I can't remember doing that, no, no, I was not in my right mind!"
- We've heard it from abusive husbands, after they beat their wives. "Please forgive me, I don't know what came over me."
- We've heard of it from drunken party goers who loot their neighbour's home. "We don't know what happened!"
- We've even heard it from heads of states who deny their actions! "No we did not plot to destroy that leader."
The negative destructive force of the Impostor® is within each of us, in children, youth, men and women. It is that part of the lower mind from the animal kingdom, that rises and dominates the higher mind, the insightful mind, the wise mind, the highly conscious mind.
Once the Impostor mind is triggered, it can drag us into pits of insecurity, depression, submissiveness, aggression, violence and emotional instability, where our self identity and self esteem are threatened.
The Impostor Mind and Self Esteem?
As humans we are shaped by the living environment in which we are born especially the fellow humans we are exposed to. Our evolved brains rely on instant learning mechanisms triggered by simple processes of watching/hearing the going on's in our surroundings. The brain records everything...
The secret to building self esteem in children lies with the parent/s and caregivers
This may come as a tough wake up call for parents who want to help their child feel confident, and emotionally and mentally strong, but your child's self esteem and sense of self worth begins with you.
When parents or caregivers to-be experience chronic bouts of low self esteem, the dynamic educational environment within the home is also negatively affected.
As the new baby watches and listens, massive amounts of learning happens. Whatever the baby experiences, impacts the self esteem of the newborn as he/she enters the world and establishes his/her sense of security and confidence.
Helping Parents To Help Children with Low Self Esteem.
No matter our age or stage of life, as highly evolved beings, we have the capacity to learn and embrace change.
Why then do we continue to struggle with change even though we know it is for the betterment of our selves, our families, our communities or even our planet?
Old habits die hard!
To embark on anything out of our comfort zone, we need not only knowledge but motivation and willingness.
Once we start a new venture, often times we may stray, be distracted, become tired, feel that we are not making much progress, or that change is not happening as fast as we expected.
But we need to pull out all the stops and perhaps even engage an informed insightful counselor.
One thing to not lose focus on, is the reason why you need to stay on track.
If we want to truly help our child whom we know is suffering behind the wall of smiles or silence, then we need to gently begin to understand their pain.
We need to get inside the child's mind, know the pain...and help him/her back onto their path of joyful living.
What's it like inside a higher mind that is led by the lower mind?
When we don't have our own source of energy or power we need to get it from somewhere else:
Imagine the lights are no longer working at your house. You need lights to see, so you turn on your torch, you borrow light.
Similarly when higher mind is compromised, we need to borrow the lower mind so we can function each day.
Lower Mind At Work:
We say one thing to people around us, but we are really thinking something else about them or the situation.
- Our words and our actions do not match what we are truly thinking and feeling. We smile and joke but we hurt and cry inside.
- We become great liars to our own selves! We begin to believe our make belief world. It becomes our truth.
Deep within we feel unhappy and unfulfilled because our lower mind is in conflict with our actions. Our conscience our higher mind cries out.
We feel as if we are living out someone else’s dreams because the demands on us by our families, peers, teachers, colleagues, fans becomes too much...making our higher mind to cave into the lower mind.
We seek inappropriate ways to drown our hurt, but what we are really trying to do is trying to destroy the Impostor® that has trapped the very best of ourselves.
- We seek to fill in the emptiness with titles, awards, possessions, anger, domination, violence, alcohol, medications, and sensual pleasures, only to find that our actions and possessions drag us deeper into the dark hole of unhappiness.
We find ourselves blaming others for what we are feeling. We seek revenge. We justify brutal attacks against others.
We do all of this only because we have become weakened, we are no longer as strong as we were meant to be, we have become dis-empowered by the Impostor® mind, by learning to do so from an early age.
The Impostor® in the lower mind, is the thief of our natural sense of power.
How Can We Empower Ourselves and Restore our Higher Mind?
The Impostor® mind is a natural animalistic force within each of us, but only when the need arises, and only with us in full control of it. We must supervise it, and never leave it to be in control of our higher mind. It must be kept on a leash.
“We can never kill the Impostor, we can only tame it,” Dr. Vie (Taming The Female Impostor, page 88).
Once we realize that we can never destroy the negative energy of the lower mind the Impostor® within us, but only tame it, we begin the great adventure of restoring our lost powers and empowering ourselves.
How Will We Feel When Our Self Esteem is Restored and Our Higher Mind is in Control?
Each day feels lighter, we sleep deeper, awake refreshed, smile more, walk with a bounce in our step, and our natural identity slowly emerges. We no longer need to prove ourselves to anyone. We are stress-free and stable. We feel happier at work, at home, with friends and more importantly, we feel at peace when we are alone with our selves.
There are many happy thoughts and memories inside our head.
We are empowered, we have tamed the Impostor®. We once more in control of our higher minds. We are no longer dependent of what others say or think about us, even if they demean us.
We create our own happiness. We are strong once again, just as nature coded us to be. We are our own natural selves. We are super-conscious beings.
Why the future of the world, our children, in the minds of women?
The unique power of women is one of the most incredible sources of energy on our planet.
Women have unique brains, limitless visionary powers and amazing extrasensory perception.
For these reasons every natural human spends the first part of their lives within the womb of a woman.
From the very second that the human being enters the developing form within the womb it is influenced by everything that the mother is experiencing. It is the time when the super conscious powers of the mother are infused into the child.
Alas, women today are experiencing numerous challenges at home, within relationships, among peer groups and at work. Many are still abused domestically and out of the home. Gender based violence is on the rise still. This has dire consequences for both mother to be and child.
If the mother is feeling insecure, pained, distressed, or fearful in anyway whatsoever, the negative energy that she produces affects the being of the baby. Whatever the mother experiences both prenatal and post-natal shapes the child’s future.
The Secret to Building Self-Esteem in Children
Right up to youth, the child’s mind is shaped by the environment at home.
For this reason a woman who has herself switched on her higher mind, and tamed the lower mind, is emotionally stable, happy, blissful, calm, and radiating love will shape the child’s persona to be one of love, stability and bliss. The child naturally will support the development of his/her higher mind, and a very strong self-esteem, feel confident and not self harm.
The child with a strong self-esteem and self-respect will naturally not want to harm him/herself or another being. The child grows into an adult who will never terrorize, harm, injure, rape, traffic others and above all will never harm Planet Earth and all her beings.
How can the world be supportive of women as they tame the Impostor® lower mind and free the higher mind?
There is always resistance in the struggle for freedom from repressive forces.
Buy in from family, grandparents, siblings, relatives, friends, colleagues and the community is vital.
They need to realize the enormous impact of the mother on the self-esteem and self worth of the child, who is the future of the world.
They need to also want a safer happier place.
Therein is the need to change infrastructures and systems to support healthy emotional and mental well being for everybody.
Much needs to be done...but we must start at the level of the family. In each household, with our children.
The Hidden Secret To A World At Peace
Only when women themselves realize that they must restore their self-respect, self-esteem and self-trust, will the future transform.
- Women must want to restore their higher mind, where the self-esteem resides, and women must recognize why they need to do so.
Women need to recognize their crucial role in the shaping of humanity. What women do today, determines the future of Planet Earth.
For this reason women must tame the Impostor lower mind, the thief of their happiness, within them and rescue themselves, their children and ultimately humanity.
Taming The Female Impostor®
In the fascinating book Taming The Female Impostor® we gain a deep understanding about the rise in artificial living where we have become great pretenders, Impostors® led by the lower mind. We even believe the thoughts it feeds us 24/7 and we believe the world it creates for us from the moment we open our eyes each morning.
“Why do we pretend to be happy when we are not?”
“How we have become clever at masking our real feelings?”
“What is causing us to feel helpless, dis-empowered, and unhappy?”
We learn about the false identity the Impostor® that has taken over our powerful, free, happy higher mind. We discover how it began to emerge first in men and then later in women. We discover the moment that changed everything, when men and women each lost the powers of the higher mind at different points in time.
False Beliefs Hold Us Back
We realize that even though we think that it is difficult or impossible to restore our wonderful, free, happy Self, this is so only because we have become weakened deep within us and have established habits to deal with the pain.
Yet that powerful Self is still within us, waiting patiently to rise again. We learn that we can empower ourselves by understanding who we really are, what our Gift really is, and how we can restore our powers and enjoy healthy self-esteem, self-respect and most of all love who we are.
In Dr. Vie's book, we follow the stories of three women, in three different worlds, each on their journey to empowerment, each battling with the Impostor® that is controlling their minds, as it runs amok in their relationships and lives. We learn of the women’s dark secrets and what they will lose if they do not take action, and we discover what they must do to restore tranquility within themselves and their families.
Through the characters, we learn about the fifteen tools of empowerment (VFF) that can be used by anyone to tame the destructive force of the Impostor and reclaim control of the higher mind. We follow the women as they travel on the seven roads of life, facing the Impostor® at each stop.
Controversial, Questions Old Beliefs and Modern Mind Control
Taming The Female Impostor® is a controversial book that questions old beliefs that manifests in modern man made, mind-controlled world. It empowers the reader to finally free the enslaved mind and reprogram it to be empowered and happy.
The writing style sets the stage for a new era of non-fiction writing steeped in fable, with intricate characters that stimulate the imagination and ignite the senses all the while guiding the reader to self-discovery and self-empowerment.
Get the book, the Life Profile Assessment, and join Dr. Vie for a live event online or in cities around the globe and experience for yourself the power within you that is waiting to emerge and generate happiness for you.
Inside the Higher Mind of The author
Dr. Vie (V), an unusual woman of Indian lineage, living her childhood in the throes of apartheid in South Africa, attending schools for “non-whites” and restricted to playing at “non-white” beaches.
She experiences a life changing moment at the age of sixteen as she lays her body over that of a fallen student, amid tear gas, and looks up into the eyes of her assailant, a military soldier who is about to beat her. She escapes and drags the student to safety.
But she is thrown out of pre-medical school because of the "disobedience" dashing her hopes to be a doctor.
Life becomes an adventure, full of questions, moments of extreme challenges, and always one of choices. She takes a stand on pivotal issues, and she finds herself standing alone with her values by her side and her parents and grandparents providing her unconditional love. She is empowered by her higher mind.
She leaves South Africa on what in the book she calls her “Life Express” and lives solo in Americas, Europe, Asia and Africa finding her way around new cultures, languages, and communities while educating herself, obtaining a post-doctorate, working and encountering daily challenges, alone.
Solo, she pioneers natural SuperFoods™ in the North Americas in 2004 making the foods and it’s bio-compostable packaging the first of its kind, in an attempt to bring natural nutrition to families. In 2006 using all her personal funds and profits she starts Dr. Vie SuperKids to mentor children for free, and for eight years lives a life on the poverty-line yet she is recharged with endless energy. Now find her humanitarian work in impoverished areas of Africa, providing skills training and wholesome jobs to uplift lives and tame the Impostor lower mind.
Do get contact her to support you, your family and loved ones, workers, colleagues and people in need, to restore natural states of generating happiness. Dr. Vie provides talks, online programs, live workshops, and more.
Your Guide, Planet Earth, Our Great Cosmos
Author of Taming The Female Impostor® A Women’s Guide To Being her Powerful Self. https://drvie.com/tamingthefemaleimpostorsummary
Recent Articles By Dr.Vie:
Parenting Techniques For Building Self-Esteem In Childhood https://drvie.com/parenting-techniques-for-building-self-esteem-in-childhood/
Yoga Scientific Secrets For Stress Management https://drvie.com/yoga-scientific-secrets-for-stress-management/
For the Series on Yoga Self Realization
Introduction click here https://drvie.com/you-can-be-super-conscious/
Part 1 Click https://drvie.com/world-yoga-day-part-1/
Part 2 click here https://drvie.com/charleston-massacre-can-we-ever-be-super-conscious-part-2/
Part 3 click https://drvie.com/yoga-self-realization-part-3-2/
Hullo Dr. Vie thanks for this article, I started reading then listened to your podcast. Thanks for that. I read the other article for parents and now understand better how to help my boy. Thanks for your reply before and thanks for the podcast you sent me. Nancy